Turning It Square

Everything stood in readiness as I reached the top of my bowling mark. I was unsure if I could bowl at all, considering I had not played cricket for a long time. The close-in fielders stood bending at their knees. I begin my short run-up, trying to concentrate on the grip with which I held the ball. The ball is delivered, it is air-borne for what seemed like an eternity. My gaze fixed on the revolving ball. The line is awry. It lands far outside leg stump. I cringe. It grips and turns with the wicket-keeper collecting it outside off stump. I burst in to a huge smile. It did not matter whether the line was wrong, or the ball was too flighted. The square turn was still there and that is what mattered. I am pumped up. I remove my heavy sweater disregarding the acute winter and reached the top of my bowling mark a lot more confident. The second ball pitches on middle stump and turns square, a wide is called. I correct my line and bowl a flipper on the third ball. The ball skids on. The arm movements are slowing falling in place. The fourth ball is pitched way outside leg stump, this time intentionally. The batsman leaves the ball alone and doesn't bother until he hears the sound of timber. The ball gripped and bowled the batsman from behind the legs. I was back and so was the spin. 

The Haunting

It haunts me. I squirm inside.

It is often hard to not compare yourself with your contemporaries. She has a fancy job; he is at a fancy university. You seem stuck in limbo. But then you console yourself. Others think you have an awesome life and a good job. Your boss thinks highly of you, some of your colleagues think you are prodigious. You are able to speak to a God of Economics, hold his attention and even tell him something which he did not already know. Of, course this should make you happy. Should it?

You stand before the mirror before you go to bed. You ponder for a moment and try to shut out the noises in your head. It yells at you – Judge yourself not by comparing yourself with others but with the difference between who you are and who you can be. Much chaos happens in my head. What if I am unable to close the gap? I tell the man in the mirror- “I spoke to God”. The man in the mirror smirks. A wry smile covers his face. He retorts – “Others may think that you are good, God may like what you have said, but where is your work? Where is your ORIGINAL WORK?"

I squirm inside.