Sunday, April 27, 2014

Spin Doctor


I am not an alcoholic. Let me rephrase that. I do not ‘do’ alcohol. Hmm, let me rephrase that as well. I have never done alcohol in my entire life. True Story!!!! Of course, it has dawned on me that this information is, somehow, unbelievable for many.

You know how it is at get-togethers; almost everyone is doing alcohol. There is nothing wrong with that, is there? But there will be someone who will surely ask me why I wasn't drinking. Clearly, there is a problem with not drinking. I used to, until recently, tell them that I do not drink. The first reaction, almost always, is disbelief, which slowly changes to that human being seeing a halo around my head. Then I am prodded further about my drinking habits or the lack of it. Answers such as I do not feel like drinking or I have never had the inclination to drink are unacceptable. More questions follow – Are you that religious? Did your parents tell you to not drink? Do you think people who drink are bad people? (Yes, it’s true, I have been asked this).

There is often too much explanation and my having to needlessly defend my non drinking state of being. And then, as if almost by magic, I found the perfect answer. At a friend’s wedding I was asked why I wasn't drinking? Out of jest, I said that I was just out of rehab and was trying to keep away from alcohol. Guess what, this answer worked. There were no more questions, period. On another occasion I said that I was bored of alcohol and was hence taking a break. No more questions followed. So, I just make up answers now. Anything random always works. I had always heard that the truth was often stranger than fiction, it was only then that I realised what it truly meant.

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